


Reunion

by Beregond5



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Flashbacks, M/M, Post Adamant Fortress events
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 02:57:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8186753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beregond5/pseuds/Beregond5
Summary: Anders let Hawke leave once. He doesn't intend to do that a second time.





	

The fire crackled softly, the flames licking the blackened pieces of wood hungrily, but the huddled man simply stared at them with mild disinterest. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear the harsh, menacing howling of the dust winds, and he could feel sand stinging him; neither the four wooden walls of the decrepit hut he had found shelter in, nor his long cloak managed to provide much protection against such a relentless attack. Even so, he simply stayed where he was, his staff resting next to him. He didn’t have the heart to upset the small tabby kitten perched on his lap, purring softly and enjoying the few bites of the meal the man had prepared. It wasn’t much (how much meat did a small rabbit have, after all?), but it was enough for the tiny creature, at least.

As for himself? He could go without food for a day. 

‘He’ll chastise you for not taking care of yourself, Anders,’ a voice, so much like his own and yet unlike his own, echoed in his mind.

‘I’ll worry about that when we find him,’ Anders replied, seemingly to no one in particular. Because he would find Hawke. He had to believe that, especially after losing so much and after what they had gone through. 

Or rather, after what he had put Hawke through. Yes, Anders had been ready to accept the consequences of his actions and even die for them, but it was also a kind of burden he had been unwilling to impose on anyone else. That was why he had kept quiet about his plans; he had hoped to spare his friends from such a pain. Besides, a part of him had been ready for the probability that they would end up hating him once everything came out in the open. And yet, when it came down to it, Hawke forgave him and even accepted Anders’ burden as his own - without wavering once, in fact. 

It was at times like these, when his mind drifted back to the events at Kirkwall, that Anders wondered what kindness he had done in his life to deserve such a wonderful man… especially now, that it was so obvious that Hawke deserved better than sacrificing so much to become a fugitive for his lover’s sake. 

‘He made his choice. And to him, it was a good one,’ the familiar voice of Justice reverberated within him.

‘That actually makes it worse.’

‘He believed in you. In us. He understood that the stalemate had to end, that you cannot stop a torrent, no matter how many obstacles you put in its way - not when the alternative is for everything to remain stagnant and festering, filled with disease. Just as he understood that someone had to force the obstacles away.’

‘Such conviction,’ Anders said, raising an eyebrow. ‘You always thought of him as a distraction.’

‘He was. But… he was the good kind.’

‘He _is_ ,’ Anders corrected firmly. ‘… Especially when I appear to be talking to myself,’ he added as an afterthought and cleared his throat. 

Granted, it wasn’t so bad now. Both parts of himself – his and Justice’s, that is – were no longer warring. The Mage and Templar War had started, with the mages finally rebelling against the oppression they suffered for centuries; and, if the news that came from the South was true, then the Inquisition had indeed granted the Mages the freedom they had deserved. After two years, after the world had been laid waste, Anders could finally rest assured that it hadn’t been for nothing. Something beautiful and full of new hope finally started springing out of the ruins and chaos that had been left behind.

And yet nothing was completely over. He still remembered the arrival of that damned letter as if it had been yesterday.

\------------------------

_Anders knew that things were serious the moment that Hawke walked in their little refuge of a house, a piece of paper – a letter, clearly – in his hand; his lover’s face was solemn, almost grim even._

_‘What’s wrong? Has something happened?’ he asked, instantly hurrying to Hawke’s side and placing an arm across his shoulders._

_‘Varric sent word,’ Hawke replied softly. ‘Apparently, the Chantry will not organize an Exalted March against Kirkwall.’_

_Anders frowned. They had both agreed that the threat of an Exalted March was inevitable, so to hear Hawke say that nothing of the sort would happen after all and treat it as bad news was strange. Unless…_

_‘Something worse came up, didn’t it?’ the healer asked wryly, although he already guessed the answer._

_‘Yes. Corypheus.’_

_Anders blinked once, twice, trying to register the reply. ‘That can’t be true. We killed him.’_

_‘Clearly, he didn’t stay dead,’ Hawke replied. ‘Anders… have you sensed anything? Heard anything?’_

_‘That’s an odd question. What do you mean by it?’ he stopped, realizing what his lover implied. ‘No. If I had, you would have known.’_

_Hawke contemplated the answer for a brief moment and then nodded, relieved. ‘Good. That means you’re safe here.’_

_Anders suddenly felt his mouth very dry. ‘You’re leaving.’_

_‘You’ve seen what Corypheus is capable of; how dangerous he is to all of Thedas. If there is a way he can be stopped, I have to do something about it.’_

_‘Alone?’ Anders asked quietly._

_‘No. Varric is with the Inquisition. He says they’re good people. Able to fix… things.’_

_‘Things as in my mess,’ Anders corrected wryly. ‘I know the hurt I caused. I didn’t do all that because I expected to receive thanks for it. I did it because everything else failed.’_

_‘I know. Just give him some time,’ Hawke said, cupping his face tenderly before his lips tugged to his charming grin. ‘Look at it from the bright side. Everyone will be too focused on all the other problems to care about little ol’ us.’_

_‘The dashing Champion of Kirkwall offering his assistance? They’ll be ecstatic. And keep asking you to sign their copies of Varric’s book,’ Anders replied with a weak laugh._

_Hawke sobered and sighed. ‘I’m not a hero, Anders.’_

_‘You are, love,’ the healer said firmly, prodding Hawke to face him. ‘You bring out the best in everyone and they follow you because they believe in you. Kirkwall remembers you as the one man who proudly stood up against the Arishok and prevailed. The mages rebelled with your name on their lips and drew strength from it, because you gave them hope. And now here you are, dashing off again to where you are needed most.’_

_Hawke smiled wanly at that, a smile that didn’t last as concern clouded his features. ‘Will you be all right here on your own?’_

_Anders shrugged in a nonchalant manner. ‘I won’t lie. With you here, being a fugitive and in exile isn’t the punishment that it’s meant to be,’ he replied. ‘But I’m sure you’ll be back in no time with quite the story to tell.’_

_‘I think I’ll leave the storytelling to Varric. I wouldn’t want him out of a job.’ And with that, Hawke proceeded to fold the letter and put it in his pocket. “I’ll leave tomorrow on the first light of day, so I should start packing,” he said, already heading to their bedroom._

_‘Probably wise,’ Anders said. ‘I’ll make some potions for you. No offense, love, but your healing magic only works on parchment cuts.’_

_‘At least it works excellent on parchment cuts,’ Hawke replied in a last Parthian shot, but Anders wasn’t up to it for further banter on this. He simply picked up his satchel with the herbs and proceeded to start a small fire to heat water._

_It had taken Anders the rest of the day to create a variety of potions that his lover would probably need on his journey, but at least he was done by the time Hawke reminded him that they should have some late supper. But though Anders had agreed, grateful for this much-needed break, he also realized that he didn’t feel hungry at all. He ate his soup almost mechanically, simply nodding and making a noncommital sound as Hawke kept talking about the details of his journey – how he’d find Skyhold, where he’d meet Varric, wondering what the Inquisitor would be like, where he’d go afterwards, where would Stroud be. So many things… and yet Anders barely listened to any of them, because the thoughts that had crawled at the back of his mind had already latched on, their claws sinking deep and refusing to let go._

_It was Hawke’s hand on his shoulder that snapped Anders out of his thoughts first. Gentle, almost hesitant, a ghostly sensation of fingertips touching his pale skin. When had they even retired to their room and settled on their bed, clothes and boots neatly tucked away? The healer could only recall bits of pieces of the last few hours and only hazily, as if part of a dream._

_‘You’ve been awfully quiet.’_

_‘… I was simply deep in thought.’_

_He hadn’t hesitated long in his answer, but it had been long enough._

_‘Anders… Don’t try to protect me.’ And in the next moment, his lover was next to him, gripping his hand, kind eyes looking at him in concern. ‘You’re troubled. Why?’_

_Could he lie? Should he? But Anders knew first hand that the lie could be just as hurtful. He lowered his eyes, ashamed that he’d have to admit the selfish truth._

_‘If what Varric says in the letter is true and Corypheus is indeed alive, then you’ll have to face him,’ he said softly, lowering his eyes. ‘And if you do, there’s no telling what the outcome will be this time around.’_

_‘I have to face him,’ Hawke replied. ‘Corypheus is my responsibility.’_

_‘I know. And I love you all the more for the brave man you are,’ the healer murmured. ‘And yet a part of me wants nothing more than to ask you to stay here with me.’_

_‘I’m here now,’ Hawke said gently, cupping his face. ‘And when I come back, we’ll stay together, till the day we die.’_

_‘Be careful what you promise,’ Anders pointed out quietly. ‘Because if I lose you--’_

_‘You’re not going to lose me,’ Hawke declared. ‘Not now, not ever. I promise.’_

_In the next moment, his lips sought out Anders’, capturing them into a deep kiss. All the healer could do was moan softly as his lover breathed in new hope in his heart. And, as his doubts and worries were pushed aside in his mind, he pulled Hawke closer, now wanting nothing more than for them to be together, right there, where no one saw; where it was just them; where they could forsake the war, Corypheus, even the entire world… just as the world had forsaken them._

\------------------------

Hawke had left by dawn. He hadn’t said goodbye, counting on Anders still sleeping when he slipped out of the covers, picked up his pack and walked out, softly closing the door behind him. But Anders had heard everything and had simply kept his eyes shut, pretending to be fast asleep. It had been easier this way - for both of them.

That had been… no, he would rather not think how long it had been. It didn’t matter anyway, because after several months of silence and waiting, Anders had received another letter via crow. From someone quite unexpected, in fact.

\-------------------------

_‘Blondie,_

_Hawke told me where to send this. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell anyone I’d write to you. Your secret’s safe with me, even if I run the risk of having a certain Seeker wringing my neck again._

_Now, before you get all worked up with a question like ‘Why is Varric writing to me?’ followed by a panicked ‘Holy shit, who died?’, you needn’t worry; Hawke is safe. It was touch and go for a while, but you’ll get the chance to see each other again. That’s the good news. The bad news is that he needs to go to Weisshaupt Fortress to let the Wardens know of the events in Adamant._

_I’ve completely lost you now, I’m sure, but you’ll probably get your chance to learn all about it due time. Just take care of yourself, Blondie. If anything happened to you, Hawke would be even gloomier than he is now, away from you, and I don’t want that in my conscience. And, maybe, just maybe, when all this is over and the world is no longer ending… well, Wicked Grace is no fun without company, that’s all I’m saying._

_Varric.’_

\-----------------------

That day, Anders had two reasons to be overjoyed: Hawke was still alive, and Varric had extended an olive branch that the healer had never believed he’d receive. And yet there was that one word that stood out above all others in the letter. Weisshaupt. The heart of the Grey Warden Order. After Anders had done everything within his power to leave the Wardens, Hawke was going there. 

No, this wouldn’t do. Anders had accepted Hawke wanting him to stay put while he was off to fight Corypheus – that monster’s manipulation of the Calling to control the Wardens wasn’t a trifle matter, Anders had experienced it first-hand. But Hawke heading to Weisshaupt was a different matter entirely. And though the healer had wanted neither to deal with the Order nor to be apprehended and executed the moment he appeared on their doorstep, he would be a fool not to be at his lover’s side now. And so, with that tiny voice echoing in his mind that he should leave immediately, while there was still a chance to catch up with him, Anders had packed his things in a few swift motions and set off for the Anderfels. He knew the way; his father had been from there.

 

And so… here he was now: a shadow travelling lightly and in secret, the grim landscape of the inhospitable, Blight-wounded land not deterring him in the slightest. Justice had considered the venture madness at first, for he reasoned that it was impossible for a single man to be found in such vastness, but Anders didn’t care. If Hawke was heading in the same direction, then they were bound to meet. They had to. And when such fiery hope burned in the man’s heart, there was no quenching it - even a strong spirit such as Justice understood that and he finally yielded. Sure, neither of them had expected that they would also pick up the tabby on the way, but, well… when you see a starving mewling thing curled up in a dried-up shrubbery, you simply can’t ignore it.

‘He just reminds you of Ser-Pounce-a-lot,’ Justice pointed out in that moment, cutting into Anders memories.

‘… Maybe a little,’ Anders admitted, stroking lightly the kitten, which was now sleeping and purring contently. ‘Perhaps I’ll be able to hold onto this one.’

‘Perhaps. If you ask nicely.’

‘I’m sure Hawke won’t mind.’

‘I wasn’t talking about Hawke.’

Anders chuckled softly before he could help it. Dog was certainly opinionated, especially when it came to sharing the bed, sharing his Master, sharing the comfortable perch on the sofa, whether he should be bathed or not, whether he should have just one more treat or not…

Blast… Anders had never thought he’d say this, being the cat person that he was, but he missed the bugger. At least Charade took good care of him and always made sure to write news of his well-being in her letters. Who knows… just like Varric had said, once the world wasn’t ending, maybe a game of Wicked Grace was indeed in order. Yes, even if he lost miserably to Dog.

Another, stronger gust of wind blew in that very moment and Anders winced as the wooden hut creaked loudly. In all honesty, it was a miracle that this shambles of a home was still standing. He supposed he should consider himself lucky. 

Before realizing it, Anders reached for the Chantry amulet around his neck. Though the shiny thing had been from Tevinter and he had blown up the Chantry in Kirkwall, it did not mean he wasn’t a man of the faith or that he wasn’t praying to Andraste for guidance like everybody else. Besides… it was Hawke’s gift; that alone had meant a great deal to the healer. Why wouldn’t he pray for strength and for the chance that his search wouldn’t be in vain?

He froze when he didn’t feel the amulet under his fingertips.

‘No… No, no, no, no, no…’ He searched himself, panic swelling in his heart, then he looked around, hoping that he had dropped it somewhere nearby… but he saw nothing.

‘No…’ Bowing his head, he hid his face in his hands, mourning the loss of the precious thing. How had that happened? He couldn’t even remember where he could have possibly lost it! And yet he couldn’t deny that it was gone…

‘I’m sorry, love,’ he whispered, as if Hawke was there. But the only answer he got was the howling of the wind outside.

 

The door creaking open snapped him and the kitten out of the slumber they had both drifted off to. The tabby instantly took cover under a loose wooden plank, even as Anders jumped onto his feet, feeling the magic crackling under his fingertips and Justice’s power igniting within his core… only to freeze as he caught sight of the familiar mantle. And when the newcomer lowered his hood, Anders’ heart missed a beat. It couldn’t be… yet it was!

‘Love!’ He didn’t stop to think, he didn’t want to. Overwhelmed by relief and joy, he just ran up to Hawke, grabbed him and kissed him deeply. Hawke reciprocated with the same fervour, arms wrapping around the healer and pulling him closer. By the time they pulled back, they were panting heavily, still holding onto each other. 

‘Missed you…’ Hawke finally said, stroking Anders’ cheek tenderly.

‘As did I…’ the healer murmured, kissing his lover’s palm. ‘I heard what happened.’

‘Varric?’ 

Anders nodded, smiling weakly. ‘It was… good to hear from him again,” he replied.

‘I’m glad,’ Hawke said gently. ‘Anders… you realize that I won’t exactly be welcomed when I arrive to Weisshaupt? Nor you, for that matter?’

‘I know. But I couldn’t bear the thought of not being with you anymore,” the healer breathed out, taking Hawke’s hand in his. ‘We’re in this together this time around.’

Hawke couldn’t help but smile at that… and then blinked and looked down in surprise as he heard meowing. 

‘Your personal guard, I presume?’ he teased at the sight of the kitten rubbing itself against Anders’ feet.

‘Well, he hasn’t found any thieves in a closet yet, but maybe one day - when he’ll be big and strong,’ Anders teased back and picked up the kitten to hold it affectionately in his arms. He couldn’t help but smile as his lover indulged him and he started stroking the kitten’s head, causing the tiny creature’s purring to fill the air. 

It was only at that moment that the thought occurred to him. ‘…You didn’t seem surprised to find me here.’

‘That would be because I wasn’t,’ Hawke replied, and he reached for his pouch to pull out something. ‘I believe you lost this somewhere.’

Anders blinked, scarcely believing his eyes. ‘The amulet… But… how…?’

‘I saw it shining on the ground, looked up to see the hut in the distance and I just knew,’ Hawke replied, smiling. ‘Now, let’s put this back where it belongs,’ he added in a tender manner, proceeding to clasp the amulet around Anders’ neck. 

Anders let him, still trying to understand how such a stroke of good luck was possible. In the end, however, he decided that it didn’t matter. Hawke was here with him, and that was far more important.

‘I love you,’ he whispered, resting his forehead against Hawke’s. 

‘And I you,’ the champion replied. And with that, their lips met again, tenderly yet lovingly, renewing their promise to stay together, no matter what. 

\----------------------

The heat didn’t bother the young man sitting on a rock not too far from the decrepit old hut he had been watching. Feverish grey eyes peeked underneath his large hat, and he smiled happily as he listened to something beautiful.

‘Scared and despairing, please let him be alive, sad thoughts gnawing but now gone, vanished into thin air. He’s here.’

‘Want him safe, everything for him, had to let him go, saying sorry a thousand times, it was raining and now it’s sunshine again. He’s here.’ 

With that, the boy that everyone always forgot let them be, spiriting back to Skyhold. 

They were happy now. He had helped.

**The End.**

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't see all that many fics tackling the reunion between Anders and a M!Hawke, I figured I should add my own version. I hope you've enjoyed the reading. :)


End file.
